rantings!

Oh I just need to moan for a bit!

I mentioned that I was working like a dog before going to the US for the xmas holidays - well I am supposed to be working like that again, but I just can't find the motivation and apparently my bosses can't find the money to pay me. This leaves us in a bit of a quandary I would say! I need money to motivate...Even though I get paid pennies.. it helps in making me feel like there is value in the work I am doing.

And to top it all off I keep getting crappy rude emails from the funders of the project wanting their accounts finalized and the final report. Except that they have ignored ALL of my emails asking for formats, requirements etc. And they KNOW i am not getting paid anymore... So I really wonder how it is that they think that by being rude and mean will facilitate or expedite the process any???

I'm almost to the point of just dropping all the documents into my bosses laps and saying have fun! when you can find some money to pay me, i'll finish it, otherwise enjoy sorting through it yourselves! It would NEVER get done if I walked away right now, so I'm not sure why the funder is being so rude to me. Seriously! GRRRRR.

The only thing making me keep my cool is that I don't want to ruin my relationship with TISS. It seems my relationship has already been ruined with the funders, which none of it is my fault, but there is nothing I can do about that now I guess. Urgh. Just annoyed. And so sick of working with rude, inefficient people who have no clue about what it actually takes to get things done.

In other news... I am equally distressed about the leaving of my last remaining great friend here. Oh so sad. Seriously, I just keep breaking down. I rely on having her here so much as moral support, that i don't know what I will do when she is gone. Her departure is rather hurried, even though I knew it would come eventually it was only a week since the announcement and her departure. :( But I know (and hope!) that we will keep in touch and that I will see her again soon. But it still is going to be hard for me to find my way here for a while without her.

And not to end on a moany note.. I got a surprise delivery of flowers today - for my birthday (still 10 days away though)! THANKS MOM! It helped this day not be as crappy as it was turning out to be. And I LOVE getting surprises - and it was good that it was so early because I won't be in town for my bday, so it all worked out for the best! Yeah!

And since the secret is out.. I will be going to Varanasi for my bday weekend, which also coincides with Holi - our favorite holiday in India. (Hence the reason we will be staying in country instead of going to some glamorous locale for my bday!). I think Varanasi will be chaos for Holi, but hopefully we manage to get some good photos.

I will report on it all when we return. Til then....